I guess when it's all said and done I'm a simple person. I believe in having good morals, character, values, and honesty. Who a person is and what they stand for is more important to me than how much money or wealth a person has. That's the way I was raised and it's what I believe. More importantly, it's how I've lived my life.
A few years ago I got back into the music scene after being out of it for a few years prior. I had what I consider to be one of the best St. Louis rap albums made in the past several years recorded and ready to release. I had a CD release party at Blueberry Hill and I rocked the place. I mean it was a pretty full house and everyone was feelin' my set. It was the most amazing feeling to me because I had come full circle.
When I first moved out here to St. Louis I spent every Friday night at Blueberry Hill. Every week "The Science" Hip-Hop spin was in full effect. Local artists such as MC's, DJ's, break dancers, graff artists and the like would come down to the Duck Room and just vibe out to some excellent underground and classic rap. At the end of each Friday's Science there was an open mic where MC's could spit some freestyles. It was no small feat to get that mic and rip some rhymes let alone be invited to do a set of your own material at this weekly showcase. I went on to spit some freestyles and even did a few shows in The Duck Room. But I never had a CD release there.
After I did the Beats 2 The Rhymes CD release and everyone was feelin' me I felt complete. In fact, I remember telling my fiance Gail that if that was the last thing I ever did in music I would be fine with that. I accomplished my goals in music. See, my goal was never to become rich and famous off of my music. I just wanted to do it. Where I grew up there was no chance of finding places that would allow local artists to do rap shows. Not only was I able to do rap here in St. Louis but I also gained the respect of my peers. That wasn't exactly an easy thing to accomplish as a white rapper back in 2002-2005. It took a while for white rappers to become a more accepted part of the rap community in those days.
After that show at Blueberry Hill I did some back ups for my good friend Dug Holes at one of his shows in the Duck Room. As Gail and I were hanging out backstage we both had a strange feeling. We talked about it later. It didn't take long for me to realize that God was trying to tell me something. It was time to let the music thing go. I wasn't going to pursue it like I once did. I wasn't going to dedicate so much time and effort to it. I was no longer determined to make it a career. I didn't know exactly why until a few weeks later. That's when we found out Gail was pregnant. I was going to become a father.
I'm proud to say some of my peers and friend in the local rap scene are doing quite well for themselves. I have no doubt that if I would have stayed on the grind and kept doing new music, shows, promotions, etc. that I would be doing pretty well myself. You never know. Maybe I would have become rich and famous. But money doesn't buy a ticket into heaven. Money doesn't give love to my little girl. I do. And if I was out chasing that dream I wouldn't be around enough for my Chloe, my Gail, or my Tabby.
I'm not looking for a pat on the back or anything. I'm just proud of my accomplishments. And I should be. I worked extremely hard to achieve them. Even if some people won't acknowledge it. Even if some people put money above all else and equate money to success. My success is in my family. And I am quite successful.
God Bless,
Big Fletch
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